I don’t know about you, but I’ve had a lot of days where my head hit the pillow and I just wanted to cry. It felt like, as soon as I was getting ahead in one area of life, I was automatically falling short in another.
If my business was successful, I wasn’t giving enough time and attention to my kids. And if my kids were getting tons of time and attention, then it felt like my business was falling behind.
It kept feeling like I was running forwards, but all these forces were pushing me backward at a much faster rate. Sound familiar?
I know I’m not alone in that struggle, which is why I wanted to share my top 6 tips for navigating business (or even corporate work) as a mom — especially if you have neurodivergent kids.
Want to know what these tips are?
1. Make the business about more than just profits
Frame your business success as a win for your family, not just a win for your bank account. This makes it easier for me to justify the hard work I put in AND helps me prioritize things. I won’t take on a client if I think they won’t be a good fit for my firm. In the beginning, I said ‘Yes’ to just about anyone paying me for some type of accounting work, but it was stressing me out and really taking more of my time in the long run.
(If you’re not a business owner, frame your job the same way. You’re not just there for a paycheck!)
2. Prioritize and organize
What are your “have to’s”, “should do’s,” and “could do’s”? In other words, what are the things you need to get done each day, or the house or your biz might burn down? Then, what are things that you should do, but don’t NEED to do? And finally, what are the tasks that you only need to get to *if* you have time?
I plan my focus times very strategically so I can be ‘in the zone’ for that day’s most important work. I know when I’ll have 60-90 minutes uninterrupted (which might only be one time each day) and what major task I want to get done that day during that time.
Be mindful of how much time and concentration you need to accomplish that task. We all know as moms that we are constantly interrupted — whether you have little ones at home all day or you have older kids that require multiple pickups and dropoffs. I keep a list of tasks that are under about 10 minutes each so that I can accomplish them in between wake-ups and high-need moments.
Finally, I’m incredibly mindful and strategic about what tasks I can do when the kids are around:
- Unloading the dishwasher. I do that while the boys are eating breakfast in the morning because I can talk to them while they’re sitting right there at the table.
- Moving the laundry over. This is easy while the kids are in the playroom right next door (or right at my feet “helping”).
- Next day prep. I get lunches and water bottles packed, clothes out for the next day, and get folders ready for school, etc. all done while the boys are having an afternoon snack.
I’m also aware of what I can’t do with the kids around, like client phone calls, posting to social media, or anything where I need to be focused on my computer or phone.
3. Ask for help
Having a support system is about more than just a loving and present partner (though that’s very important). You also need a village of people in your corner as a mom and business owner (especially if you’re an ND mom), like friends, family, and great employees.
Asking for help — and paying for it — can be really stressful, but this is the best way to give yourself more time back in your day or week, allow you to focus on the important tasks in your life and business that only you can do, and feel less stressed overall.
If you have a neurodivergent kiddo like I do, I think it’s really beneficial to ask for help from professionals, whether that’s doctors, therapists, tutors, etc. We do not have to do this alone!
Don’t be scared to hire help in your business, too. Hiring an office and client relationship manager was the best thing for me, my firm, and our clients.
4. Be flexible
Things with the kids are always changing – and business is no different! Joyful success comes when you’re open and flexible to the flow of things. If your kid throws a tantrum in the middle of a Zoom call, you might need to ask to be excused for a moment and come back after you’ve handled it (if it’s not going to take more than a minute or two).
I’ve also become less apologetic for having kids’ noises in the background when I’m working. And I’m so fortunate that most of my clients understand that I’m always a mom first.
Know that your kids will get sick and need to stay home, go to the doctor and get a little extra love from you on a day that you have 5 or 6 meetings scheduled — that’s always how it seems to go. Just give yourself grace, ask to reschedule the meetings, and enjoy the extra snuggles.
5. Set daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly goals
Setting goals has really helped me to get more things done in a shorter amount of time. When I get specific with my goal setting, I’ve found that I can be much more productive because it’s given me something to keep my eye on and look forward to.
I think we all are good at planning long-term goals and that’s honestly what we think of right away when we hear the word “goals.” But now as a mom and business owner with more things to accomplish than time will ever allow for, I like to set weekly and daily goals because it helps me feel like I’m getting my biggest things accomplished while the monthly/yearly goals still help me steer things in the right direction.
6. Be REALISTIC with expectations
And last but not least… be realistic. With yourself, your kids, spouse, employees, etc. We don’t live in a world with superhumans — though most days I really try to be one. Whenever you or someone around you is feeling overwhelmed or isn’t having the level of success desired, take a hard look at your expectations and make sure they’re genuinely realistic. This is something I still have to remind myself of DAILY.
I HAD to stop comparing myself to those female business owners in their late 20s with no kids killing it in their business. Y’all, I couldn’t possibly add up how many hours in a day and week are spent taking care of someone other than myself. And that’s okay — I LOVE being a mom — and that role will ALWAYS come first. But that also means that if something isn’t going to get done for the day, it’s likely going to be something in my business.
Now let me elaborate on that. My client work always gets done and our clients are served at a high level. But the tasks, new ideas, and things that move the business forward towards growth are the things that get put to the side time and time again.
This is a season — a hard season — and I know I’ll miss it one day!
Just like every other season in my life, this process has been messy. It wasn’t something I just woke up and put into action perfectly.
There are going to be wins and fails in the process of finding balance. We may never feel fully balanced. But the most important thing to remember is that your balance needs to work for you — and nobody else!
Want to hear more tips like this? Make sure you’re subscribed to the new and improved Messy Wonderful podcast, where we’re talking about what it’s like to be a mom of multiple kids, a full-time business owner, and a family with neurodivergent AND neurotypical children!
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