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Responsibilities vs. Chores: How We Differentiate With Our Kids

If you listened to the episode about talking to kids under 5 about money, you might have wondered: What about paying kids for chores around the house? Should that be part of teaching them the value of money?

In our house, we separate things by responsibilities and chores. 

“Chores” has a negative connotation. We wanted to use a different word to refer to the expectations we have of our kids and how they will contribute to our home. So, when Hunter was 4 years old, we decided to use the word “responsibility” instead. 

“Responsibilities” refer to things we do simply because we’re members of this family… and that means taking care of and appreciating the wonderful things we get to have as part of this family! 

What Are Responsibilities?

It’s very important that responsibilities are age appropriate. 

One of the first responsibilities Hunter ever had was emptying the utensil section of the dishwasher. I’d take out all of the sharp knives first, and he’d put everything else away. We’d make a game out of it! Hunter was around 4 at this time, so we’d count utensils and name big forks and small forks. 

Another responsibility example is separating out dirty clothes in the hamper every night. Hunter and Gage know they’re expected to sort their clothes by shirts, uniforms, underwear at the end of every day. They’ve been doing this for almost 2 years now – so they know the deal!

We also make it clear to them it’s their responsibility to treat their toys with respect. We don’t have ripped books, color on the walls, or stickers stuck on things. That’s not acceptable in our house. We want them to know that someone bought that for them, and they are blessed to have it.

Other responsibilities we use for ages 3-7:

  • Setting the table
  • Taking the recycling out
  • Picking up toys at the end of the day
  • Clearing their plates after dinner

They don’t get money for their responsibilities. We want to cultivate a mindset and an understanding in them of all the tasks that need to happen to run a household. Everyone has to pull their own weight, and we want them to be grateful for the things they have. 

What Are Chores?

Chores go above and beyond. It’s extra – it might not be age appropriate, and it does earn them $1 or $2.

Everyone will always have set daily responsibilities (that’s a non-negotiable in the Tara Household) but I think that chores could be set each week as they get older. For us, there is money tied to it, or a non-money privilege. 

For instance, Hunter really wanted a $16 book called My First Big Book of Birds. He wanted to save up for this book, so we talked with him about HOW to save and earn money. We told him he could go above and beyond his responsibilities by doing chores, and we’d pay him for those chores. 

Some chores Hunter did at age 5 included:

  • Helping with laundry
    • Moving the laundry from the washer from the dryer – $1
    • Sorting and folding – $3
  • Helping me organize papers for the shred company

The Importance of Responsibility

Our kids live a really good life. They have a lot of things other kids don’t. They have memberships to the zoo, the aquarium, and children’s museum, and get to go on vacations every year. 

They’re very blessed and fortunate – and I want them to understand that they have these things because their parents work hard to earn money, and they use that money to enrich their lives. So, they need to be contributing members of their family! 

The biggest takeaway here? The responsibility aspect is the most important part – that our kids understand how fortunate they are, and learn what it takes to run a household (and not feel like they should get paid for that!). 

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I'm Kimberly

and this is where it all began

As a wife, mom, and business owner, I started this blog as a passion project to share all the things I’ve learned throughout my journey.

To say it’s been a crazy ride would be the understatement of the century, but we have loved sharing our adventures every step of the way.

That’s why I always come back to where it started – this very blog – to continue sharing my tips, tricks, triumphs, and tribulations about all things motherhood, money, business, traveling, and everything in between.

I hope that by sharing these authentic, unfiltered experiences, you can feel seen and heard and learn to embrace the wonder in this messy (but oh, so wonderful) life.

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