We’ve been getting this question a bunch, so we wanted to share some of the ways we help our kids get ready for a new baby – especially Hunter. I feel like we’re almost professionals at this point with our fourth baby in 5 years! HAHA
There are so many factors that can play into this & we all wonder how a new baby will affect our family and our kids.
We realized around the 32 week mark that we hadn’t really talked to Beckett about the new baby. When we were pregnant with Gage, we talked to Hunter about the new baby ALL THE TIME. Like most parents, we thought we were ruining his life (even though deep down we knew we weren’t).
It IS a bigger deal for first children! They’re used to be alone. A third child is literally never alone. And a new baby is coming in and taking over because they still have their older two siblings to play with.
But honestly, it all just has a way of working out and being magical and just getting better and better – more chaotic but also better!
I’m still thinking about how I’m going to spend quality time with each of the boys while also tending to the new baby (and myself) like I’ve done with each birth in the past. Ultimately, it will all be fine though – I know this! They’re all going to be best friends 🙂
Focus on the things you can control & let go of the rest. It will all work out!
We’ve probably been talking to Hunter the most because changes to his routine can cause him much anxiety. I talk a lot in Episode 18 about how he battles with his excitement and anxiety. We KNOW he is super excited for the new baby but deep down there’s a lot of worry and nervousness as well.
We know we’re going to see meltdowns and tantrums in other areas of Hunter’s life and we’re going to take it day by day to help him. ALL of our kids are going to need grace as we figure out our new normal.
A few specific things we’ve been trying to reinforce include
- reminding him he’s the biggest brother
- he is mommy’s biggest helper
- it’s his job to protect this new baby
- he reads the ‘What to Expect’ app each week & knows the size of its fruit (the scientific facts help ground him)
- encouraging him to talk to the baby; he always says ‘Good Morning’ and ‘Good Night’ to my belly
- let him feel the baby kick or move – establishing that connection already
- we had an in-home ultrasound for all of them to see the baby – this made it so real for all of the boys
- we let him share anything about the baby if someone asks us a question; I always try to loop him into the conversation
We want him to feel super involved and his little heart wants to help. He gets so proud of himself as a good helper.
We talk about how much of a blessing this baby is to our family & how much joy it will bring in completing our family. They’re going to have another friend and sibling to love. We want to focus on this instead of how much the baby will need mom in the beginning.
And we already know we’re going to embrace his excitement to show everyone the new baby once the baby is actually here.
